Thursday 10 November 2016

Does Anyone ?


Do you listen , the laughter of the dreams?
The satires in their silent breaths,
The sarcasm in their smiles.

Do you see, their stare that asks me, how I dared ?
To expect,
To believe,
To depend.

Do you too, hear their questions?
What will it take me to learn?
Or, Am I just a fool?
What now?

And does anyone feel my heartbeats ?
That refuse to go to next.
That keep breaking the patterns.
That belong to none.

Or maybe it's too dark to observe anything.

Wednesday 9 November 2016

AfterShocks !

It started with a bang!
Everything could have changed that night,
Everything, did change that night.

The days which followed saw craters and mounds,
Laughters and tears,
Promises and fears.

Dark clouds,
Which were given a fight.
Darker clouds,
Which engulfed.

There was a bang again!
This time, it's loud inside the heart.
Everything changed once more.
The days to come, will be picking up the ruins of the bang.

Thursday 29 September 2016

Second day of the rest of my life !!



Yes, Second. Because the first day I was too busy celebrating and breathing in my freedom !

Freedom, 

from being confused.
from being broken.
from being frustrated.
from being sad.

I have been into all of these whirl-winding emotions. I was confused, about almost everything. About myself, my relationships, other people, universe .. Everything. But only after being confused ,I learnt the art of clearing out and learning new things

I was broken and frustrated , but that helped me to heal and validate my decisions. What is life, after all, minus a tinge of self pity, anger and drama? But you raise above all this and soar.

I was sad. Sad of being judged, being rejected. But from there came the bravery to accept and change things .

And today, on the second day of the rest of my life; I am looking forward happily. Planning my minutes of ways to fill happiness, truth and peace in them. I know a beautiful journey is awaiting and I am going to travel this path, dancing !!




And then, I became more than what I expected,
I took that flight and became that flight ,
Irrespective of the colours of skies, I did not stop.
I just navigated myself in different directions.
I lost familiarities and found certainities,
I am going to fly around here, for a while now.

Sunday 6 March 2016

Never Date a girl who challenges you !



Date a girl who never challenges you. 

Find her in a crowded , dimly lit bar ; sitting on the corner table, glancing at you. Look back at her with your mesmerizing eyes. And the smart man that you are , ask the bartender about her drink and floor her by reaching out to her with two glasses of it and a beautiful ice breaking line. 

Look into her beautiful eyes. Drown in the shine of her skin. Compliment her for her beautiful dress and laugh inwardly. Strike conversations. 

Escort her out of that crowded place with your hand on her waist. Like a real gentleman. Go for a walk under the deep night sky. Hold hands and then make that moment precious by sealing it with a kiss under that lamp post, because thats how they show it in the movies. Acknowledge its insignificance too. Drive her back to her apartment , insist for a glass of water and leave after making love to her. Exchange phone numbers. 

Call her the next morning and the next night . Keep meeting her in bars, at movies. Let this acquaint evolve into an uncomfortable relationship. Try to Match your interests. Keep meeting her when the evenings get lonely. Let the months pass insignificantly. Have few meaningless conversations everyday. Do little thinking. Move in with her, or ask her to move in . Get into fights about inconsequential things like getting friendly with your colleague, or spending more time in your gym, or how a wet towel on the bed results in ruining the bed cover. Let an year pass un-noticed. 

Now its been many similar months and many similar years, so you should think about getting married, else she might find some one else. So , you book a table at the most expensive restaurant in the city. Ask her to dress up for a surprise. Tell the waiter to bring the ring hidden in the dessert and when she acknowledges it with a big surprise , or a tear , or a big smile , just smile back as if you had never been happier. 

Let more years pass, un-noticed. Do your job. Fuck her and make some babies. Try to teach them well. Go for holidays . Have a mid life crises. Grow old wondering at your lack of achievement. Feel content sometimes, but mostly vacant. Die , but only after you observe that the girl who did not challenge you,  never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion. That no one will write the story of your lives, that she will die too one day , with a medium tempered regret that there was always something missing. 

You must do all those things because a girl who is a challenger, sucks. She is ball of fire which will roll all over you and you will only be finding ways either to save yourself from the wrath  or accept her challenges. She will make you work. She would not accept discontent. While demanding from you she will take you to places inside of your own which you yourself had never seen. She will shake you and show you the heights and lengths and breadths of achievements. 

Never ever fall in love with such a girl , or let her love you , because if she fell in love with you , she will make sure all those parts of your alien world become accessible to you. She challenges you because she sees your worth. She has read your silenced dreams and wishes in the back of your stormy eyes, in the silence of your pretended laughter . She has seen your naked soul with her mind. Why would you want to risk being caught so weak?  She will push you to your limits and then will make you break them. You will be like a vulnerable child in her presence. she will make your life so goddamn difficult.

A girl who sees you eye to eye will make your life hell. She will give you tasks because she knows how every dream is built. Her strong conscious has taught her the importance of always being on the toes. She will be your worst friend , cause she will never let you stop. But every-time you forcibly achieve a long forgotten dream  of your life ; do observe that tiny tinge of mad happiness inside your heart. She will define new passions with you ; because while she challenges you , she is upping her game as well. 

You will be all weary , shredded by the end of your life with such a woman. You will not be the person that you started as. You might look back at the journey on your dying day and be overwhelmed with the Adrenalin rush gushing through your veins as each moment passes through your eyes. You will end as a much better version of you. 

But , would that be worth all this chaos ?


Saturday 5 March 2016

मुआवज़ा !


आज गुलज़ार की लिखी ये पंक्तियाँ पढ़ कर कुछ लिख पाने की कोशिश करना ही बहुत व्यर्थ सा लगा।

शायद कुछ दिन तक मेरी सोच में रहने वाली हैं ये पंक्तियाँ ।

"मुझको इतने-से काम पे रख लो।
जब भी सीने में झूलता लॉकेट
उल्टा हो जाये, तो मैं हाथों से
सीधा करता रहूँ उसको
जब भी आवेज़ा (कर्ण कुंडल) उलझे बालों में
मुस्करा के बस इतना-सा कह दो--
'आह, चुभता है यह, अलग कर दो.'
जब गरारे में पाँव फंस जाये,
या दुपट्टा किसी किवाड़ से अटके,
इक नज़र देख लो तो काफी है।
'प्लीज़' कह दो तो अच्छा है,
लेकिन मुस्कराने की शर्त पक्की है।
मुस्कराहट मुआवजा है मेरा।
मुझको इतने-से काम पे रख लो। " (गुलजार)

Thursday 3 March 2016

A toast to the confusions !



Make no apologies to admit your Confusions !

when indecisiveness knocks on your door , answer it . Let it in. When heartbreak makes it impossible to breathe, try breathing deeper. Soak it in. 

Can you really ignore these feelings forever? Can you actually run away always ? Can you keep that door locked incessantly? 

So, invite that fear in for a drink or two,  and crib , cry , pilfer. Have a chat with it eye to eye. Give it your attention, hear it out. There is no sense in running away from it, Because else, it will keep hiding and re-appear when it would be least expected. These confusions will find you !

But then, after a time ,  get done with it. Quickly . And then, ask it to LEAVE ! Don't make it your best friend , don't wallow in it. 

Deal - and then move on ! Take notes from your conversation ; take lessons from the chit chat and apply them.Such encounters in life are valuable teachers. You grow and forge new beginnings from these experiences. 

Set it free, and then you will be free. 

Tuesday 1 March 2016

How to destroy a tree !

You fell for that smile, din't you ?
You fell for the effervescence , that sense of humor.
Like million others, who are falling in love with her everyday.

You took her hand, and showed her the stars.
You heard her dreams and shared your secrets. 
You said all the right words, and brought her flowers.
And she , in spite of her guards, let you in.

Her happiness rubbed off on you,
And every minute of your life changed.
There came stories and plans and love notes,
Every moment of your life seemed beautifully arranged. 

She believed it, finally !
She trusted everything , that was happening. 
Her dreams were not just hers alone anymore,
It was love , again !, and the feeling was maddening.

Then that one fine evening, you changed your mind.

So, you plant a tree , water it , tend to it.
Love it tenderly , and make it depend on you.
and trust you well.
Watch its leaves grow and flowers bloom.

And then , you leave it to wither and die alone,
on one silent night.